


...always and I never have

by wheresmywatson



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: :), His Last Vow, I guess it has a bit of a hint for, I tripped on my keyboard and a fic was born, Johnlockary - Freeform, M/M, Season 3 Spoilers, gaytectives, if you wish to see it that way, inspired by a tumblr post
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-16
Updated: 2014-01-16
Packaged: 2018-01-08 22:16:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 749
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1138042
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wheresmywatson/pseuds/wheresmywatson
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Spoilers for Season 3 episode 3, His Last Vow.</p><p>Sherlock is about to be sent away for six months when he chooses to tell John the one thing he always meant to say but never did.</p>
            </blockquote>





	...always and I never have

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by [this post](http://reapersun.tumblr.com/post/73463764178/anotherwellkeptsecret-gaytectives-i-need) on tumblr. I wrote this in about 10 minutes so I do apologise that it's not more well-thought-out or anything, but I have been reliably informed by my biased best friend that it is good.

 "John, there's something... I should say. I've _meant_ to say, always and I never have. Since it's unlikely we'll ever meet again I might as well say it now."

John shifted, never once looking away from Sherlock's eyes as he waited for the man to finish.

"You," Sherlock said finally, his eyes darting to the ground before coming up to John's again. "I'm in love with you, I think. Well I- I know I am."

John's lips parted, his eyes wide in surprise.

"It's fine, it never would have worked," Sherlock went on quickly, clearing his throat and smiling to try and cover up how nervous he was. "I just thought I owed you the truth, after everything we've been through."

"Sherlock-"

"You don't have to say anything," Sherlock said. "Just know, it's been... the best. I've had the time of my life." With a nod, he turned on his heel to head over to the plane.

"God, will you... Will you at least let me hug you, you arse?" Without waiting for an answer, John strode forward and pulled Sherlock back towards him. "You bloody idiot," he muttered, gripping as tightly as he dared and letting out a small sigh of relief as he felt Sherlock's arms go around him as well. "You should have told me. You could've hinted!"

"I'm not good at subtlety," Sherlock replied softly. "I was going to tell you when I returned, but then you had Mary and you didn't even really want to _see_ me."

"Oh god, you arse. You dickhead."

"I have to leave now, John."

"I love you too. I always have."

Sherlock gently pulled away from the embrace, staring down at John with a deep regret in his eyes. John was blinking rapidly and avoiding Sherlock's gaze, his jaw clenched together tightly.

"Take care of her," Sherlock said after a moment. "She loves you."

"Just come back, alright? Six months – I expect you to be back on my doorstep with that bloody annoying grin on your face." John squared his shoulders and looked up at Sherlock again finally.

With one last smile, Sherlock said nothing as he turned and boarded the plane.

As Mary returned to John's side and took his hand, he squeezed it tightly for reassurance.

* * *

 

"Hello little brother, how's the exile going?"

"I've only been gone four minutes!"

"Well I certainly hope you've leant your lesson. As it turns out, you're needed."

* * *

 

Stepping off the plane and back onto British soil, Sherlock frowned. There was no one in sight except John, who was striding towards him with a very quick pace and a determined expression on his face.

"John?" Sherlock asked, trying to remain professional since now was not the time or place to resume their conversation from before. If Moriarty really was back, they were all in trouble. "Where's Mycroft?"

"I told him to piss off," John said as he got closer. "Said I needed to punch you before any of us could get onto fighting crime again."

Sherlock's eyes widened and he tensed, preparing himself for the impact as John drew up in front of him even though he had no idea why it was happening. When John leaned forward and kissed him, he floundered helplessly in a moment of confusion.

Pushing John back once he got his bearings again, Sherlock still couldn't seem to think of a single word to say.

"I don't know how," John said softly. "But we'll work this out, alright? Not right away, obviously, because there's someone we really need to lock away properly this time. I just really needed to know what it was like to kiss you before we get distracted again."

"Of course," Sherlock said, stunned and not really understanding at all. "Did- ah... Is Mary with Mycroft?"

"I told her I was gonna kiss you," John said, nodding. "I love her, and we're having a baby, but... I'm addicted to you, Sherlock Holmes. Mary understands."

"I don't want to break the two of you apart," Sherlock said. "Especially not if you're having a child."

"You won't," John said, giving a half smile. "I said we'd work it out, alright? Now if you can... forget this, somehow, we've got a maniac to find."

As they began walking back to where John had left the others waiting, Sherlock smiled and let a small chuckle escape his lips.

"What?" John asked, grinning over at him as well.

Turning to stare in John's eyes, Sherlock shrugged. "I missed you."


End file.
